End with a Beginning with an End with a Future.

feeling too much, thinking too much, it's painful to live with all my emotions erupting all the time.
emotions don't stop coming, i can't stop feeling. desire is deadly, temptation exists, but it's much harder to have and to hold for longer than an evening.

I make decisions that i can't own and i find myself in these positions that I immediately regret. When will i find what i am Looking for. . . I dont know when i will have the smooth and boring life i dream about. Instead I just remain on this Fucked up roller coaster.

all of this thinking is messing up my mind, it's messing up my heart. Getting things out helps sometimes, sometimes it makes things worse.

at this point i can not figure out what is right and what is wrong, what is appropriate and what is not. opening a new door, a new window and a different future than i thought i'd walk into. all i can do is move forward... optimistically.